


Best Laid Plans

by Julia_Fractal



Series: Harry Potter Works [3]
Category: Black Adder (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 18:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15846942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Fractal/pseuds/Julia_Fractal
Summary: %%%%%To his dismay, Harry learns that "One, two, three" does not qualify as a sound battle plan.(Harry Potter/Blackadder crossover.)%%%%%





	Best Laid Plans

**Note:** This was originally written before Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and is therefore not canon-compliant.

**%%%%%**

 

“And what exactly, is your battle plan?” Blackadder enquired.  
  
“Plan?” Harry asked in confusion.  
  
“Yes, plan. Stratagem, tactic, a sequence of carefully choreographed events which you anticipate will vanquish You Know Who and allow the wizarding world to live in peace and harmony ever after.”  
  
“Erm,” said Harry.  
  
“Who the hell are you?” Ron asked the stranger.  
  
“Edmund Blackadder, newly appointed tactician to the Order of the Phoenix,” the man answered smoothly. “Now Mr. Potter, please enlighten us as to the details of your strategy.”  
  
“Um, we were going to rush in, and attack on the count of three...” Harry offered uncertainly.  
  
Blackadder rolled his eyes, “Even Baldrick has more cunning plans than that.”  
  
“Who’s Baldrick?” Ron demanded.  
  
“My unwashed servant, who resembles a dung beetle in appearance and has an unhealthy obsession with turnips,” Blackadder answered shortly.  
  
“Now Mr. Potter, please allow me to explain. Building a giant wooden horse so that your enemies will admit you into the heart of their stronghold is a plan. Raising an army of Mongol warriors to ride like the wind and vanquish all other civilizations in your path is a plan.  Counting ‘One, two, three’ may be a versatile skipping rhyme, it is _not_ , however, a sound battle plan.”  
  
“You know Harry, he does have a very good point,” Hermione interjected. “We should think this through more thoroughly.”  
  
“But rushing into things has always worked before!”  
  
“But that’s no reason to challenge Voldemort again without adequate preparation!” Hermione countered with new determination in her voice. “Before you do anything, I think we should research past magical battles and campaigns, consult each member of the Order, review the list of all known Death Eaters and factions sympathetic to Voldemort’s cause...”  
  
“But Hermione, that’ll take ages! Besides, my scar’s starting to prickle,” Harry complained. At a glare from Hermione however, however, he sat down reluctantly and pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment.  
  
“Excellent!” Blackadder announced as he stood up. “Fifty feet of parchment should be sufficient for a preliminary outline of your strategies. Please have it ready for my perusal in two months’ time. Good day.” Turning his back on Harry’s sullen glare and Hermione’s endless stream of suggestions, Blackadder sauntered out of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place to meet with his new master.  
  
Lord Voldemort’s red eyes glittered with amusement as his newest servant approached. “Well done, Blackadder,” he said in a sibilant hiss, “perhaps there shall be a place for certain talented Squibs among my Death Eaters after all...”

  
  
**%%%%%**  
**{The End}**


End file.
